My boat was sinking. I could feel myself drowning somewhere deep inside the ocean of nothingness. I’m panting for air. My lungs are swollen. I need some fresh air. I need to breath immediately. Ain’t I too young to die? I can’t leave the world just yet. I have so many things to do.. But, the darkness is calling me. Is it the other side? Is it the life here-after calling me or am I listening too much in the silence? My blood is a roaring red ocean inside me. It’s rushing through my veins, as if trying to break free, as if trying to spill itself out of me. My heart; it is thumping. Have you ever heard a drum? Yeah, its a drum in my chest. I can hear the drum being drummed in my ear. The sound is getting louder with every thump. Am I really leaving this world? Am I really dying? Like, eyes closed forever, breathing stopped forever?
May be not. May be I am just broken. But, it’s too much for me to take. Oh yes, May be I am broken beyond repair, as if I am being pulled by that deep darkness of despair deeper and deeper. Should I cry? Do I want to cry? No, I want to shriek out loud, loud enough for my demons to hear me. Loud enough to silence all the sounds in my head. I want to let it out, once and for all.
I can see something there, its a ting of light in the darkness. There it is, I can see it. A little more effort and i’ll be there. It’s hard. The darkness is so welcoming. It is like alcohol. Getting tipsy always leads to getting drunk; beyond any sense. But, the light is luring me as well. The darkness or the light? Black or white? What do I choose?
I once read it somewhere: “After every storm, the rainbow shines.”
That is when I chose the light. I emerged stronger than before. Yes, I am going to go to the depths of despair and depression and pain. I am going to break down and cry, and shriek like a maniac. But, the little ting of light will always bring me back from there. You know why? Because I have the guts to choose LIGHT over Dark.